the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a GIFT.
why it's called the present.
you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
- Catherine Aird
yourself as long as you're exactly like me." - Anonymous
good for the gander is good for the goose.
I meant to type it this way!)
when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
God created movies, then She made Mel Gibson!
grand essentials of happiness are: something to do,
to love, and something to hope for." - Allan K. Chalmers
this . . . if
someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown,
it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and
whack them upside the head!
a toad first thing in the morning,
nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
in the middle of the road is very dangerous;
down by the traffic from both sides." -
are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our
to stomp on them and keep them in the dark
they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
gossips to you . . . Will gossip about you.
minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events.
minds discuss people.
early bird gets the worm . . . but the early worm gets eaten.
Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the
What part of "Thou Shalt Not. . ." didn't you
understand? - God
"I work for the Post Office...You KNOW I'm crazy!!!"
Sinbad in "Jingle All The Way", 1996
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw
ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.
Corrie Ten Boom, author and Holocaust survivor.
Don't get overwhelmed by all of the things you have to do for Spring
a little bit at a time. Work for 50 minutes and take a break for 10.
you do, don't lay down on the couch until you're all done!
did that once and I didn't finish 'til Autumn. - Sally
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
"Why should I waste my time reliving the past
I can spend it worrying about the future?" - Unknown
The length of a minute depends on what side of the bathroom door you're
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
27.) "Beer is living
proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy"
The alarm clock was invented by the Devil in order to prevent
anyone from being happy for more than 24 hours in a row.
29.) May you have...
enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy.
30.) Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
- Evelyn Waugh
31.) Well, the truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.
- Garak, 'Deep Space Nine'
Did you ever notice . . .
when you put the 2 words "the" and "IRS" together,
spells: THEIRS ? ? ?
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather
straps." -Emo Phillips
34.) "May the forces of evil become confused on
the way to your house." -George Carlin
35.) "Life may have no
Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I
disapprove." -Ashleigh Brilliant
36.) "My opinions may have changed, but not the
fact that I am right." -Ashleigh Brilliant
37.) If you're having a bad day, just reboot. - Speed
38.) If practice makes perfect, and nobody's
39.) I was drowning my sorrows, but my sorrows, they
learned to swim.
- U2, Until The End Of The World
40.) In three words I can sum up everything I've
learned about life: it goes on.
- Robert Frost
41.) Just be thankful you're not getting all the government you're
- Will Rogers
42.) You never know how much you have to be thankful for until you
pay taxes on it.
- Rev. Denny J. Brake, Raleigh NC
43.) The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage
probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this
44.) Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
45.) Those who discourage your dreams, likely have abandoned their
46.) Those who know, don't tell. Those who tell, don't know.
47.) I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
48.) "Imagination was given to man to
compensate him for what he is not,
and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he
is." - Oscar Wilde
49.) Take your life in your own hands and
A terrible thing: no one to blame. - Erica Jong
50.) In times like these, it is helpful to
remember that there have always been times like these.
- Paul Harvey
51.) Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it
you will land among the stars. - Les Brown
52.) Life is 10% what you make it, and 90%
how you take it. - Irving Berlin
53.) Always be a little kinder than
necessary. - James M. Barrie
54.) Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean
55.) A penny saved is a Congressional
oversight. - Author unknown
56.) Every person you meet knows something
you don't. Learn. - Author unknown
57.) A woman has the last word in any
argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument. - Author unknown
58.) I was married for 17 years. What went wrong? It was
I wasn't real happy with her choice of boyfriends. - Comedian John